Daily Archives: December 7, 2012

Rubies

*-These characters are not mine, only belong to Miss Bronte.

 *-The first text in italics is the original text from Jane Eyre. The second is called Eshet Chayil or A Woman Of Valor. It’s a Hebrew prayer men sing to their wives on the Sabbath.

 *-Please review

 Rubies

“But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes — indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don’t neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for Adèle. Good-night, my” —- He stopped, bit his lip, and abruptly left me.

I watched her shadow disappear up the stairs and I knew that my plan was working.

I did not intend to hurt my Janet, only ensure that the love I had for her, she had for me.

They called her plain and poor; they mocked her openly. My Janet did not reveal the wounds they created, but I knew better. 

My Janet was worth more to me than any of them. Blanche Ingram could have had the dowry of the princess royal and I would prefer to remain a bachelor than be chained in matrimony to her.

All I wanted, all I saw was my Janet. I wanted to cover her in lace and silk, see her wearing the jewels that had been left to me by my mother.

On our wedding night, she would remove the pins that kept her hair up. I would kiss her tenderly; show her the true affection between husband and wife.

But she was unattainable to me, the one woman I wanted to call wife. The woman they would call my wife was a lunatic and I was her keeper.

I would find a way to marry my Janet, even if it meant deceiving the one woman I loved most in this world.

 “A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and nothing shall he lack. She renders him good and not evil all the days of her life. She opens her hand to the needy, and extends her hand to the poor. She is robed in strength and dignity, and cheerfully faces whatever may come. She opens her mouth with wisdom. Her tongue is guided by kindness. She tends to the affairs of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children come forward and bless her. Her husband too, and he praises her. Many women have done superbly, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a God-fearing woman is much to be praised. Place before her the fruit of her hands. Wherever people gather, her deeds speak her praise.”

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First Steps

*-Naturally, the only character that is mine is James. The rest lovingly belong to Charlotte Bronte.

 *-Reviews are always welcome.

 First Steps

Edward sighed, looking at the pile of papers sitting on the desk in front of him. At the moment, he had no patience for anything. But he knew that these were matters that had to be dealt with.

 Taking a shot of brandy, he hoped that a moments respite from his work might actually allow him to finish. He often observed his tenants; their lives seemed so much simpler than his own. They had no worries about paying employees, contracts or solicitors. They also did not have to deal with the partial loss of their sight, leaving him to rely on his wife when he could not deal with certain matters on his own.

 Then there was knock on the door.

 “Your son has a surprise for you” Jane said.

 His hands firmly wrapped into his mother’s, James took his first steps. After a few moments, Jane let him go. He didn’t travel very far before landing on the floor.

 “Papa” he grinned at his achievement, his smile revealing a partially toothy smile.

 Edward picked up his son, reveling in son’s achievement as the boy did. His son was walking. 

 “Papa, hungee”

 “What do you say?”.

 “Please” James asked in his own impish way.

 Jane started to reach for her son until her husband interjected.

 “Before you go, I wished to discuss something you”.

 “I’ll tell Sophie to start feeding him”.

 As if on cue, Sophie appeared and took James from his mother.

 “I was considering now that Adele is growing up, we should have her dowry set aside. Nothing too much, perhaps 5000 pounds”.

 “I think that is reasonable” Jane agreed.

 “And, how are you today, my dear?” Edward asked, focusing his attentions on his wife. His left roamed her growing abdomen. They would a second child by Christmas. The darkness and the secrets that had once shrouded Thornfield were being replaced by love and sounds of the newest generation of Rochesters.

 “I am well, Edward, there is no need to worry”.

 “The child?” he asked, the concern easily read on his face.

 “It is god’s hand, not our own” she tried to sooth his fears. This was not the first time his was over concerned for her health, his reaction to her first pregnancy was the same, love, anticipation, but also fear.

 “Younger women have died in childbirth” he could not fathom loosing her again, he had lost her once, of course he knew that was attributed to his own actions.  To loose her  would be a blow that would be impossible to recover from.

 “So have older women. The physician has confirmed that we are both in good health. I have given birth once, I can do it again”.

 He saw the warmth in her eyes and felt his worries disappear. She knew always knew what to say when his fears seemed to control him.

 Her hand grazed his cheek and for a moment, they were in their own world. The silence was broken by James’s wail when he Sophie feeding him was not what he wanted.

 Sighing, they both knew that this moment would have to be discontinued until later. Edward returned to his work and Jane return to their son. Watching his wife exit the room, he hoped that the day would end quickly and they could return to the moment when it was just the two of them.

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Dissapear

*-Of course I do not own either Jane Eyre or this fabulous song. I’m just borrowing both.

 *-Disappear By Hoobastank.

 *-Reviews are always welcome

 Disappear

he entered the room meekly, pointing Adele to the direction of his guests.

 He had watched her closely since their first encounter on the road.  This was not the first time he was in love, but this girl was different.  He knew it was wrong, that he would hurt her in the end. But he had to know if she felt the same way.

 There’s a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye

Despite his wealth and his status, Edward Fairfax Rochester was lonely. The heartache of the betrayal of his father and brother still stung as if was yesterday and not fifteen years ago.

 And awakens the moment that you leave

 She seemed to understand his pain, to sooth the demons that continued to plague him.

Though I try to look away

 He told himself to find a woman who suited his status, a woman like Blanche Igram.

The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you’re next to me

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away

 But no matter how he told himself to look away, to find a woman of his status, his heart returned to the one female he knew he could not have. Externally, Blanche Ingram was everything he should seek in a wife. But he knew she was cold and was only seeking him for his money and his status, a concept which he detested.

So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds

The room was full, but he saw no one except her. She left the party as quietly as she entered, his footsteps echoing her own. Even in the darkness, he could see her pain, Lady Ingram’s remarks had hit their target.

  “How do you do?” he asked.

 “I am very well, sir.”

 “Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?”

 I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it: but I would not take that freedom. I answered —

 “I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.”

 “What have you been doing during my absence?”

 “Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.”

 “And getting a good deal paler than you were — as I saw at first sight. What is the matter?”

 “Nothing at all, sir.”

 “Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?”

 “Not the least.”

 “Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.”

 “I am tired, sir.”

 He looked at her for a minute.

 “And a little depressed,” he said. “What about? Tell me.”

 “Nothing — nothing, sir. I am not depressed.”

 “But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes — indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don’t neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my — “He stopped, bit his lip, and abruptly left her.

 Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

She started to walk to her room and was surprised when instead of returning to the party, he followed her.

 “Mr. Rochester?” She asked, not expecting him to follow her.

 “Jane, I…” he stopped suddenly not knowing what to say.

 “Your company sir” she reminded him.

 “Do you think I give a whit about them, Jane?”.

 “I wouldn’t know, sir, I have never had any reason to have guests over”.

 He half smiled, that was his faerie, always to the point.

 “Edward…” Blanche Ingram’s voice drifted upstairs.

 “You should return to your guests and your bride sir”.

 “I am looking at her” he replied with a frankness that even surprised him.

 “Sir?”.

 “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you–especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you–you’d forget me”.

 “Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal — as we are!”

 She suddenly burst out, a show of emotion he had not seen before and he knew that for certain that his love was not one sided.

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Edward Fairfax Rochester was not a passionate man, at least to the casual observer.  But few knew the man under the cold, polite façade and that moment, he cared not for what others thought of him, only of the faerie who stood before him. He did the one thing he knew would shock them all and he didn’t care. He kissed her.

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

 To his delight, she responded to his kiss with a warmth not even he had anticipated.

 “Let’s get married tonight, no one else will know”.

 “It is late sir; I doubt the vicar would be awake”

 That was his Jane, always thinking logically.

 “Then tomorrow”.

“Yes” she agreed.

 There’s a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

 He forgot everything that moment, the only thing that mattered was that he had found his true match.

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

 Then the image dissipated. He watched her walk up the stairs to her room and hearing the voices of his guests, despite his heart, returned to his company.

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Discovery

Of course, these characters are not mine, however, that does not mean I don’t appreciate reviews.

 Discovery

 The plan had been simple. The maid was easily startled and Thornfield seemed right of a gothic novel with its dark and mysterious corridors. It didn’t make much for Blanche to convince the girl to create the diversion. She knew where his room was, it would only take correct timing to ensure that her place as Mrs. Rochester would never be doubted.

 The maid screamed and as expected, all ran out of their room and Blanche came out of the nook leading to his room and joined the hysteria.

“Where the devil is Rochester?” cried Colonel Dent. “I can not find him in his bed.”

“Here! here!” was shouted in return. “Be composed, all of you: I’m coming.”

And the door at the end of the gallery opened, and Mr. Rochester advanced with a candle: he had just descended from the upper story. One of the ladies ran to him directly; she seized his arm: it was Miss Ingram.

“What awful event has taken place?” said she. “Speak! let us know the worst at once!”

“But don’t pull me down or strangle me,” he replied: for the Misses Eshton were clinging about him now; and the two dowagers, in vast white wrappers, were bearing down on him like ships in full sail.

“All’s right!—all’s right!” he cried. “It’s a mere rehearsal of Much Ado about Nothing.” Ladies, keep off, or I shall wax dangerous.”

And dangerous he looked: his black eyes darted sparks. Calming himself by an effort, he added, “A servant has had the nightmare; that is all. She’s an excitable, nervous person: she construed her dream into an apparition, or something of that sort, no doubt; and has taken a fit with fright. Now, then, I must see you all back into your rooms; for, till the house is settled, she can not be looked after. Gentlemen, have the goodness to set the ladies the example. Miss Ingram, I am sure you will not fail in evincing superiority to idle terrors. Amy and Louisa, return to your nests like a pair of doves, as you are. Mesdames” (to the dowagers) “you will take cold, to a dead certainty, if you stay in this chill gallery any longer.”

What Blanche was unaware of is that Edward Rochester had other matrimonial plans; his plans included a young woman few in the party truly saw.

Some two months later, the summer sun started to disappear into the hills; Edward Rochester made his passionate declaration, of which the results were surprising even to him.

 “Come to my side Jane, and let us explain and understand one another.”

“I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and can not return.”

“But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry.”

I was silent: I thought he mocked me.

“Come, Jane—come hither.”

“Your bride stands between us.”

He rose, and with a stride reached me.

“My bride is here,” he said, again drawing me to him, “because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you marry me?”

Still I did not answer, and still I writhed myself from his grasp: for I was still incredulous.

“Do you doubt me, Jane?”

“Entirely.”

“You have no faith in me?”

“Not a whit.”

“Am I a liar in your eyes?” he asked passionately. “Little skeptic, you shall be convinced. What love have I for Miss Ingram? None: and that you know. What love has she for me? None: as I have taken pains to prove; I caused a rumor to reach her that my fortune was not a third of what was supposed, and after that I presented myself to see the result; it was coldness both from her and her mother. I would not—I could not—marry Miss Ingram. You—you strange—you almost unearthly thing!—I love as my own flesh. You—poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are—I entreat to accept me as a husband.”

“What, me?” I ejaculated: beginning in his earnestness—and especially in his incivility—to credit his sincerity: “me who have not a friend in the world but you—if you are my friend: not a shilling but what you have given me?”

“You, Jane. I must have you for my own—entirely my own. Will you be mine? Say yes, quickly.”

“I cannot”.

“Tell me why not”.

“I saw Miss Ingram come out of your room the night Mr. Mason was injured”.

He saw the tears in her eyes; how his actions had hurt the one woman he loved most in the world.

“Jane, come here, please allow me to explain” he held out his hand to her.

“I cannot”

“Jane, come back”.

“I am sorry, Mr. Rochester, but I will not” he watched her back disappear as she ran back inside the hall.

For the next few weeks, she avoided him and took her meals with Adele and Mrs. Fairfax.

“Mrs. Fairfax, where has Miss Eyre gone to?”  Edward asked, she had not been seen since midday.

“I do not know, sir”.

“Is she in her room?’.

“I do not know” the housekeeper replied.

He walked towards her room and knocked on the door, she did not answer.

“I believe I saw Miss Eyre walking to Hay, she mentioned something of a letter that was waiting for her” Leah informed him.

“Tell John to saddle my horse”.

“As you wish, sir” Leah turned around to find John.

He found her on the lane returning from Hay.

“Why did you go alone, Janet?” he asked.

“I had a letter waiting for me”.

“You should have told me where you going, I would have at least send the carriage to take you”.

“The walk was reasonable; there was no need of taking the carriage”.

“Will you at least ride back with me?”.

“I can walk”.

“If that is what you wish, I will walk with you” he got off his horse and began to walk with her.

They walked for nearly 30 minutes in silence.

“You must know, Janet, I meant what I said. My heart, as well everything I own, is yours, if you will have me”.

“You know I cannot. In fact, I will be leaving”.

“Janet, you cannot be serious”.

“I am perfectly serious; my uncle has written to me, he is on death bed”.

“Where is this uncle of yours, you have never mentioned him before”.

“I only learned of him when I went to visit Aunt Reed, he had been searching for me while I was still at Lowood”.

“You would leave me, Jane, forever” Edward balked.

“You are a married man; I will not be your mistress”.

“I care nothing for Miss Ingram”.

“I am referring to your living wife, if I do not say goodbye now, I shall never say goodbye”.

“What wife? Have you heard speak of a wife? I have no wife, save for you, if you will only tell me that you will marry me”.

“You know I cannot”.

“Janet…” again he watched her enter Thornfield and go up the stairs toward her room.

Two days later, the carriage disappeared into Hay and away from Thornfield, the letter from her uncle, John Eyre in her bag.

“My dearest niece,

I must apologize for not being able to locate you sooner, as I was unaware of the fabrication of Mrs. Reed.

I feel I must explain my actions. Your late father and I did not get along as we should have as boys and quarreled often. One quarrel led our separation, which I now regret. My physician says that I am on my deathbed, which has led me to locate you. I am unmarried and without children and I wish to leave you all of my worldly possessions.

I have heard through channels that you are currently employed by Edward Rochester of Thornfield Hall, whose reputation precedes him. I warn you Jane, keep your guard around him, for he is not what he seems. If he should propose marriage, I warn to decline, my contacts warn me that he has a wife living, though she is mad.

Please come dearest Jane, so I may see you with my own eyes and make amends for my past.

Yours, etc

John Eyre”

The next day, she was met by her uncle’s manservant at the dock in Portsmith, where a ship would take her to Madeira, where her new life would begin.

He would never know her tears, or the heartbreak of the lies he had created. But no matter how many years she lived or if she had the opportunity to marry for true affection, Edward Fairfax Rochester would forever live in her heart.

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