I Understand

Robin Williams passed away yesterday. Underneath the 30+ years of film and television roles was a man who hid his demons well.

I know what it is like to have those same demons. They are what Sally Brampton refers to in her 2009 memoir, Shoot The Dam Dog as “The Throat Monster”.

The Throat Monster is insidious. It does not stay on your throat for long. It wraps itself around your mind and your consciousness. It tells you everything you’ve ever done wrong. It constantly repeats that you are alone in the world, that there is no reason to wake up in the morning.

You may have it all. Supportive family and friends, a solid career, maybe even your children that you adore and would do anything for. But you still feel like there is nothing to live for.

I have lived with depression for years. I look in the mirror every day and I see the stranglehold that the depression has on me.

I know that I am not alone in my feelings. If you feel the way that I do, get help.  Not just for you and your loved ones, but for the rest of us. If you can get help and find the joy in life, then maybe the rest of us can.

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RIP Robin Williams

Dear Robin Williams

I am sad to hear that you are no longer of this world.

I’ve been watching you perform for as long as I can remember.

I remember watching Mork & Mindy reruns as a kid.

Your mile a minute impressions in Aladdin made me laugh.

Your performances in Mrs. Doubtfire and  Hook reminded me of a father’s unending love for his children.

Your performance in Good Will Hunting was searing and powerful.

And yet underneath all of that was a man we never knew and we may never know.

You were human and mortal like the rest of us. You had your own pain, your own scars.

You may be gone, but your legacy will live on forever.

My heart and prayers goes out to those who knew you best, especially your children.

RIP