Tag Archives: Hoobastank

Gone Too Soon

No mortal is untouched by death.

A while back, I wrote about a friend of a friend who committed suicide. I did not know her personally, but her death hurt.

Last night I found out that a childhood friend of mine passed away. I haven’t seen her in twenty years. We’ve been Facebook friends for a few years, but never really made the time to re-connect as adults.

I wish I had reached out to her when I had the chance. She was a year younger than I was and one of my best friends from the time I was in pre-school until my early teens. I cannot imagine what my childhood would have been like without her.

Her death is a reminder that life is precious and we need to make time for the people who are important to us. We also need to tell them that we love them. We never know when we will have to unexpectedly tell them goodbye for the final time.

My regular readers know that I have been battling depression for a few years. Depression keeps its victims from living life to the fullest.

Depression has taken a lot from me. Experiences I’ve never had, friendships I’ve never made. I cannot and will not let it keep me from living. Live is too short, we only get one spin around this planet. We had better make the most of it while we can.

RIP.

Enjoy your weekend.

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Filed under Life, Music

Life And Mistakes

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all stumble and fall. What matters is that we get back up and move on.

Where there is life, there is hope- Stephen Hawking

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January 10, 2015 · 10:08 am

Crawling In The Dark

Tomorrow begins the 4th week of my job search. Some days are better than others, those are the days when I have interviews and I feel like there is a chance of employment.  Then there are  other days, when the resumes go out and all I hear in response are crickets.

To quote Hoobastank “I’ve been crawling in the dark/looking for the answers”.

 

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September 8, 2014 · 1:43 am

Curveball

Life is never straightforward or simple. Nor is anything guaranteed. Sometimes you take chances and the result is not what you thought it would be.

I took a chance and, well, it didn’t turn out as expected.

I had hoped that the consequence of this choice would be a positive one, but it was not meant to be.

I sort of saw it coming, but I hoped that it would not turn out as is it did.

Even though it hurts, I am proud of myself for trying. I did learn something about myself, something which I needed to learn.

One of the posts on my facebook wall recently said that our best teachers are our mistakes. Very prophetic.

I can only go forward and take that lesson and experience with me. As much as I keep wishing it, there is no going back and undoing what has already been done.

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Filed under Life

Dissapear

*-Of course I do not own either Jane Eyre or this fabulous song. I’m just borrowing both.

 *-Disappear By Hoobastank.

 *-Reviews are always welcome

 Disappear

he entered the room meekly, pointing Adele to the direction of his guests.

 He had watched her closely since their first encounter on the road.  This was not the first time he was in love, but this girl was different.  He knew it was wrong, that he would hurt her in the end. But he had to know if she felt the same way.

 There’s a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye

Despite his wealth and his status, Edward Fairfax Rochester was lonely. The heartache of the betrayal of his father and brother still stung as if was yesterday and not fifteen years ago.

 And awakens the moment that you leave

 She seemed to understand his pain, to sooth the demons that continued to plague him.

Though I try to look away

 He told himself to find a woman who suited his status, a woman like Blanche Igram.

The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you’re next to me

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away

 But no matter how he told himself to look away, to find a woman of his status, his heart returned to the one female he knew he could not have. Externally, Blanche Ingram was everything he should seek in a wife. But he knew she was cold and was only seeking him for his money and his status, a concept which he detested.

So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds

The room was full, but he saw no one except her. She left the party as quietly as she entered, his footsteps echoing her own. Even in the darkness, he could see her pain, Lady Ingram’s remarks had hit their target.

  “How do you do?” he asked.

 “I am very well, sir.”

 “Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?”

 I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it: but I would not take that freedom. I answered —

 “I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.”

 “What have you been doing during my absence?”

 “Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.”

 “And getting a good deal paler than you were — as I saw at first sight. What is the matter?”

 “Nothing at all, sir.”

 “Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?”

 “Not the least.”

 “Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.”

 “I am tired, sir.”

 He looked at her for a minute.

 “And a little depressed,” he said. “What about? Tell me.”

 “Nothing — nothing, sir. I am not depressed.”

 “But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes — indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don’t neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my — “He stopped, bit his lip, and abruptly left her.

 Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

She started to walk to her room and was surprised when instead of returning to the party, he followed her.

 “Mr. Rochester?” She asked, not expecting him to follow her.

 “Jane, I…” he stopped suddenly not knowing what to say.

 “Your company sir” she reminded him.

 “Do you think I give a whit about them, Jane?”.

 “I wouldn’t know, sir, I have never had any reason to have guests over”.

 He half smiled, that was his faerie, always to the point.

 “Edward…” Blanche Ingram’s voice drifted upstairs.

 “You should return to your guests and your bride sir”.

 “I am looking at her” he replied with a frankness that even surprised him.

 “Sir?”.

 “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you–especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you–you’d forget me”.

 “Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal — as we are!”

 She suddenly burst out, a show of emotion he had not seen before and he knew that for certain that his love was not one sided.

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Edward Fairfax Rochester was not a passionate man, at least to the casual observer.  But few knew the man under the cold, polite façade and that moment, he cared not for what others thought of him, only of the faerie who stood before him. He did the one thing he knew would shock them all and he didn’t care. He kissed her.

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

 To his delight, she responded to his kiss with a warmth not even he had anticipated.

 “Let’s get married tonight, no one else will know”.

 “It is late sir; I doubt the vicar would be awake”

 That was his Jane, always thinking logically.

 “Then tomorrow”.

“Yes” she agreed.

 There’s a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

 He forgot everything that moment, the only thing that mattered was that he had found his true match.

Do you know, that every time you’re near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

 Then the image dissipated. He watched her walk up the stairs to her room and hearing the voices of his guests, despite his heart, returned to his company.

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Filed under Fanfiction, Jane Eyre