Spare Book Review

Most, if not all families, have a black sheep. That person’s fate is sometimes sealed by the response from their loved ones. Hopefully, they are accepted and loved for who they are. But if they are, this person has a tough choice to make. They can either live their truth or hide who they are to fit in.

Spare is the memoir/autobiography by Prince Harry. Published at the beginning of the year, the narrative starts the day before his mother, Princess Diana, was killed in a car crash. Up to that point, he was a happy child who did not have the responsibilities of his elder brother, Prince William. That all changed on that fateful day in August 1997. Her death sent him on a difficult path of emotional discovery, growing up (and naturally making mistakes by extension), mental illness, and finally figuring life out on his terms.

Obviously, the book is solely from his perspective. Until we know the thoughts and feelings of the other parties, we can only go by the information we have.

It is telling that the book is dedicated to his wife, Meghan Markle, his children, and his late mother. What I took from it was that he was never truly allowed to grieve the loss of Princess Diana. Compounded over years and decades, this leads to behaviors that under other circumstances, would be thought twice about before proceeding. It didn’t help that he was growing up in the spotlight and every youthful mistake was tabloid fodder.

I admire Harry for having the courage to follow his heart, even if it means estrangement from his father, brother, and the rest of the Windsors. I’m sure that the decision was not easy. But if it meant the choice between being happy, so be it.

Do I recommend it? Absolutely.

Spare is available wherever books are sold.

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I Admire John Fetterman For Speaking Out About His Depression Diagnosis

When it comes to mental health and mental illness, speaking the truth out loud is difficult. Especially if you are in the public eye.

Last week, Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman checked himself into a hospital for clinical depression. The statement from his office is as follows:

“While John has experienced depression off and on throughout his life, it only became severe in recent weeks.”

I admire Senator Fetterman for recognizing that he needs help. There are far too many who either refuse to acknowledge their illness or turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their feelings. Of course, it goes without saying that the right will use this opportunity to knock him down.

BREAKING: Senator John Fetterman just checked himself into the hospital to treat his clinical depression.

MAGA is going to have a field day with this. But they're wrong.

This is one of the bravest things I've ever seen a sitting politician do.

— Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) February 16, 2023

I admire the Senator for doing what he had to do. Though he is putting his needs first, he is also speaking to and for the millions of us who live with this disease. If he can be brave enough to step up and ask for assistance, than the rest of us can.

Today Should Have Been the 50th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

For most of American history, women have been second citizens. It was only with the passing of Roe V. Wade 50 years ago that we were fully enfranchised.

Today should have been a momentous day in the United States. We should have been celebrating that we are truly free. Our fate and our decisions were of our own making. Instead, we have regressed back to a time in which our future was dependent on where we lived and who was in the halls of power.

The fact is that abortion is healthcare. It ensures that the patient can make the best decision for both her physical and mental health. Without both of those intact, the level of difficulty to fully take care of the youngster(s) rises exponentially.

If for any reason, she is unprepared or unable to take care of the child once it is born, she should not be forced to bring it into the world. Should she be forced to give birth, at best, her ability to parent will be severely diminished. At worst, the minor will be at the mercy of social services and its numerous failings. The last thing any of us should want is for a young person to suffer because of residual issues of the adult in their life.

As much as we want to mourn, it will not get us anywhere. The only thing to do is to stand up, speak up, and fight. Only then, we will be heard and hopefully, in the near future, will our rights be returned to us.

There are marches across the country today in support of the pro-choice movement. If you cannot march, please donate to one (or more) of the many organizations that are standing up for our freedom.

Finding Me Book Review

No one gets through childhood without an emotional scar or two. What matters is how we respond to those scars.

Finding Me is Viola Davis‘s memoir/autobiography. To say that her childhood was far from idyllic is an understatement. The last to youngest of five children, she grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who was forced to scrape the bottom of the economic barrel to get by. Living in Rhode Island, Davis was one of a handful of black children in the community and was bullied for her skin color.

As she got older and started on the path to becoming a successful performer, she was forced to reckon with her demons. It was only when she sat down and dealt with her past did she finally make peace with it.

In telling her story, Davis is raw, emotional, and unapologetically open. It is a tale of perseverance, strength, and the willingness to move beyond what is holding you back.

I loved it. This is not an award-winning actress talking. This is the real person underneath the Hollywood glam machine. I find her journey to be an inspiration. If Davis was able to heal her wounds, make her inner child smile, and have it all, then maybe the rest of us can.

Do I recommend it? Yes.

Best Books of 2022

1. Carrie Soto Is Back: Taylor Jenkins Reid‘s latest novel about a nearly over-the-hill tennis star took my breath away.
2. I’m Glad My Mom Died: Jennette McCurdy’s memoir of her childhood, her career, and her abusive mother made me grateful for my parents, warts, and all.
3. Hollywood Ending: Harvey Weinstein and the Culture of Silence: The revelations in this book are damming.
4. What Souls Are Made Of: A Wuthering Heights Remix: The book takes Wuthering Heights in a new direction, deepening the narrative and an understanding of Bronte’s era.
5. The Matchmakers Gift: A Novel: Lynda Cohen Loigman‘s latest novel about a Jewish teenage matchmaker in the early 20th century and her skeptic granddaughter is pure gold.
6. The Princess and the Scoundrel: The book tells the story of the wedding and honeymoon of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo after the destruction of the Empire in Return of the Jedi.
7. The Weight of Blood: This reboot of Carrie adds racism to the mix, making Stephen King‘s novel even more relevant than it already was.
8. Gangsters vs. Nazis: How Jewish Mobsters Battled Nazis in WW2 Era America: Their tactics may not have been exactly legal, but standing up against antisemitism is nothing to sneeze at.
9. Madam Speaker: Nancy Pelosi and the Lessons of Power: This biography of Nancy Pelosi is a reminder of the barriers she has broken and the legacy she will leave behind.
10. His Name is George Floyd: One Man’s Life and the Struggle For Racial Justice: The murder of George Floyd forced the world to face its racist past.

Here’s to the books we read in 2022 and the ones we will read in 2023.

I’m Glad My Mom Died Book Review

Child stars have a certain reputation. They are either super successful when they are young and then burn out as adults. The other narrative is that due to a number of factors, they are able to continue their career and be seen as a performer, not just a child performer.

Former Nickelodeon star, Jennette McCurdy‘s new autobiography/memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died was published in August. Known for the early aughts television shows iCarly and Sam & Cat, she was pushed into show business by her late mother. Frustrated by their poverty and her own unfulfilled Hollywood dreams, she manipulated Jennette into a career in show business.

From an early age, McCurdy learned to yes to the authority figures around her and put aside her own needs. Developing an eating disorder as a pre-teen, she was convinced that she needed to be a certain weight. It was only after her mom died that was she able to confront the physical and mental health issues that had been thrust upon her.

While listening to this book, I had two reactions. The first was that I wanted to shake her mother and knock some sense into her. I also wanted to hug McCurdy and show her the love that she was sorely missing from her life.

The abuse that was put upon this girl was mouth-dropping. With every chapter, I could feel the level of uncomfortableness rise. By the time the book ended, I could feel the relief flooding through me. Somehow, McCurdy was able to come through all of this with inner strength and confidence is awe-inspiring.

Do I recommend it? Absolutely. I would advocate that it is one of the best books of the year.

I’m Glad My Mom Died is available wherever books are sold.

RIP tWitch

For many living with mental illness, the only way out is suicide.

Earlier this week, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, best known as the DJ for the Ellen DeGeneres Show took his own life. He was 40.

The thing about mental health issues is that they are not obvious. It’s not the same as wearing a cast for a month to heal a broken leg. Just because someone is smiling on the outside does not mean that there isn’t a torrent of emotions on the inside. I think there are a lot of people who try to understand, but they really don’t.

It is often seen as the only way to get rid of the pain. As difficult as that is to comprehend, it is the truth. I don’t know why he did what he did. But it was obviously a sign of deeper issues that remained unresolved.

I wish that he had talked to someone before making the ultimate decision. Whatever he was going through, he felt like there was one way to make it stop.

My heart goes out to the people who knew his best. May his memory be a blessing. Z”L.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call 988 or your local crisis helpline. Your life is worth it.

Harry & Meghan Documentary Review

A logical mind would say that we ought to believe that everything that we read in the press is true. We can hope that the journalists have done their homework before putting (digital) pen to paper. But a realistic mind says otherwise. There are some publications that are more than happy to fudge the facts in order to increase sales.

The new six-part Netflix documentary, Harry & Meghan was released this weekend. In this docuseries, Harry and Meghan sit in front of their camera and tell the story. From their early years to their eventual courtship, marriage, and becoming parents, nothing is off-limits. Backing up the couple are family, friends, and a handful of respected experts who add additional details to the narrative.

I found their honesty to be refreshing and real. Harry talks about the mental health challenges he experienced after the death of his late mother, Princess Diana. For her part, Meghan describes the racism she experienced as a biracial woman. The villain in this piece is the media, charged with spreading lies and half-truths in order to get eyeballs on screen and hands on newspapers.

Though some say that the facts have been smudged, I think the message is clear. The purpose of the program is to hear their story in their own words, which I think is quite refreshing. It is also telling (in my mind, at least), there are crickets coming from the palace. Instead of responding to the criticism, the silence speaks volumes.

Do I recommend it? Yes.

The first three episodes of Harry & Meghan are available for viewing on Netflix. The next (and final) three episodes drop on the 15th.

Thoughts On the Forced Hospitalization of the Homeless and Mentally Ill in NYC

Homelessness is one of those issues that seems both simple and difficult to explain and confront. Sometimes, it can be boiled down to a single problem. Other times, there are several threads that lead to one living on the streets.

Last week, New York City Mayor Eric Adams announced a plan in which homeless persons who show signs of severe mental illness will be forced to go into the hospital.

On paper, this plan sounds reasonable. However, there are logistic questions that must be addressed.

1. Do the hospitals have the beds and staff to handle this potentially large influx of patients?
2. Will the doctors and nurses have access to the medical histories of the individuals so they can treat them properly?
3. Who exactly will be on the teams that locate these people? Will it be clinicians and police? In case the encounter becomes dangerous, law enforcement may need to step in. Given their history, just charging in guns blazing is not the best option.
4. Upon release from medical facilities, will these people have access to the services they need?

Obviously, the details have to be ironed out and it goes without saying that it will not all be smooth sailing in the beginning. But I have to admire Mayor Adams for trying. Something is always better than nothing.

Stutz Movie Review

Talk therapy is one of the most common forms of working through mental illness. Speaking to a therapist allows one to air their grievances (so to speak) in an emotionally healthy manner.

The new Netflix documentary Stutz is a conversation between actor Jonah Hill and his psychiatrist, Phil Stutz. Over the course of 136 minutes, both men spill their guts (figuratively speaking). Hill talks about being known as a plus-sized actor and the downside of fame. Stutz delves into his past and how his own trauma has gotten him to this point in his life.

This film is fantastic. I loved the honesty of both men. Filmed in mostly black and white, it speaks to the power of the importance of respecting mental health. As someone who has been grappling with it for many years, I related to Hill and his struggles. I also appreciated Stutz’s approach to working with his patients and helping them to achieve their goals.

Do I recommend it? Absolutely.

Stutz is available for streaming on Netflix.