When I was a senior a college, I heard a rumor of a female classmate who accused a male classmate of rape. When the rape allegations were proved to be a lie, the natural sympathy fell on the male classmate who would be forever tainted with the false allegation.
But about the millions of women who are raped and/or sexually assaulted and don’t go to the police because they are afraid of not being believed?
One of the off shoots of the #MeToo movement was the statement “believe all women“. Unfortunately, the lack of credibility of Tara Reade’s accusations threatens the idea that all women who report being raped are telling the truth.
There will always be people who question when a woman reports that is sexually assaulted. That is an unfortunate fact. I hate to say it, but based on what I have read and heard, I’m not sure that she is telling the 100% truth.
It bothers me to no end, but I have go with my gut. For her sake and for the sake of the women who are accused of lying about their own rapes, I hope that the evidence proves that Ms. Reade is telling the truth.
He can cry all of the crocodile tears he wants. He knows what he did. He knows that he forced himself on those women, dangling career prospects and make all sorts of threats if they did not give into him.
Cry those crocodile tears all you want, Harvey Weinstein. Your going to rot in jail.
We all want to be in love and most if, not all of us, would like to say “I do” to someone at some point.
In the 1954 movie, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Adam (Howard Keel) married Milly (Jane Powell) after knowing her for less than a day. When Milly arrives at her new home, she discovers that her husband is the eldest of seven boys. Inspired by their eldest brother, the rest of the Pontipee men are eager to marry.
While watching his wife turn his brothers in gentlemen, Adam is inspired to find wives for them. The method of finding wives comes from the story of the capture of the Sabine women by the Romans.
There are many musicals from this era that are considered to be classics. They are also slightly misogynistic. For its time, this movie musical is fine. But what bothers me is that the screenwriters gloss over the fact that the Sabine women were according to legend, raped, not captured with the intent of marriage.
We all know that for most of human history, women have been at best second class citizens and at worst, property. When it comes to sexual assault and rape, the complaints, if they have been made public have not be received and responded to as they should have.
Believe Me: How Trusting Women Can Change the World is a new compilation of essays edited by Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman. In their own words, each writer answers the following question: what if we not only we believed women, we took their claims of rape and sexual assault seriously?
The best thing about this book is the variety of writers. Each writer brings his or her own experience into the essay, answering the question in a way that is both personal and profound. By attaching a human face and a unique story to these very difficult topics, these writers are helping to break down the barriers and start a conversation that should have started a long time ago.
This book is brilliant and a must read for anyone, regardless of gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. It throws off the old ideas of about women and the misconceptions of our sexuality. By throwing off these ideas, it forces readers to take a hard look at how women’s sexuality is viewed and what must be done so rape and sexual assault becomes a thing of the past.
For decades, there were whispers within Hollywood about producer Harvey Weinstein. But as soon as reports surfaced of allegations of sexual harassment or sexual assault, they were put down as mere rumor. That is until Kantor and Twohey started digging. That digging opened a Pandora’s box of truth, lies and the people who would do almost anything to close that box again.
This book reads like a fictional thriller instead of a real story. It is a heart pounding roller coaster ride until the very end of the book. We know how the story ends, but there were so many blockages for Kantor and Twohey that I started to wonder if justice would finally prevail. When I finally finished the book, I was relieved that Weinstein was finally getting what was coming to him.
The thing that strikes me about this book and this story is that it is universal among women. The women who come forward in this book tell the same story, with minor details changed for their specific narrative. They range from Hollywood A-listers to fast food workers to teenage girls assaulted by their drunk male classmates. If nothing else, I think that this book and others of this nature are a starting point for a conversation that is more than overdue.
It takes a bold person to step forward in the face of injustice. Especially when the injustice is accepted as part of the culture.
In January of 2015, Chanel Miller attended a frat party at Stanford University. What started out as an average college fraternity party turned into a life changing event for Ms. Miller. She was sexually assaulted by Brock Turner, who received a notoriously light sentence for the crime he was accused of.
In her new book, Know My Name, Ms. Miller tells her life story up to the that night and the aftermath that followed. In the book, she tells her story from the night of the party to the agonizing process of being examined at the hospital for the rape kit, identifying her rapist and finally, going through the trial.
I loved this book. If I was to compile a list of top ten books of 2019, Know My Name would be on it. The pain of whole experience is honest, brutal and at moments, hard to read. But it is well worth it, especially when Ms. Miller comes out on the other side not as a victim, but as a woman whose strength outpaces her pain.
Ms. Hirshman starts her book in the 1970’s, when women began to talk to each other and organize against men who took advantage of their female subordinates. She then moves forward in time highlighting a number of accusations of rape and/or sexual harassment against prominent men and the women who were brave enough to go public with the accusations. The list includes the 1991 Clarence Thomas Hearings and the accusations by Anita Hill, the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton Scandal, and the multiple women claimed that Harvey Weinstein took advantage of them sexually.
Reckoning is a perfect title for this book. While telling the story of these brave and bold women, Ms. Hirshman inspires the reader to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. She also pulls no punches, calling out politicians on both sides of the aisle, women who stay silent and men who continue to perpetuate this heinous act.
Rape is an unfortunate part of human history and the human experience.
Recently, a young man was brought to trial, accused of raping a young lady. The judge overseeing the case, Judge James Troiano, initially denied the prosecutors case and released the boy. The judge stated the following as his reason for his ruling.
“This young man comes from a good family who put him into an excellent school where he was doing extremely well…He is clearly a candidate for not just college but probably for a good college.”
Thankfully, an appeals court overturned Judge Troiano’s ruling and denounced the judge for his decision.
This boy may come from a good family and may have a bright future, but it does not excuse his actions. If the accusations are in fact correct, he is a predator and a criminal and should be treated as such.
In ruling in the boy’s favor because he came from a “good family”, the judge also ruled against the girl and her family. She may also come from a “good family”, but we don’t know that. For all we know, according to Judge Troiano, her family is not worth the same time and effort as the boy’s family.
It’s time to stop the excuses for rape and call them what they are: a crime to prosecuted to the fullest extend that the law can provide. Until that day, we will continue to disbelieve and devalue victim and let criminals get away with murder because they come from a “good family”.
There is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women, especially when it comes to allegations of sexual assault.
Senator Susan Collins voted to proceed with the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to join the Supreme Court. The result is that her opponent has received a tidy sum from voters in donations.
The message coming from the Senate is clear. The voice of the American woman does not matter. Her experience does not matter, especially when it comes to rape and/or sexual assault. While the woman has to live for the rest of her life with the emotional trauma that comes with sexual assault, the man is free and clear to move on with his life as if nothing happened.
The law of the land is innocent until proven guilty, as Mitch McConnell pointed out. However, the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh are severe enough to create questions of his ability to be impartial and non-partisan.
I started writing this post yesterday. As of this morning, Judge Kavanaugh is the newest member of the Supreme Court.
What is done cannot be undone. However, the midterms are coming. American voters will have their say when it comes to who will representing them in Washington. While only time will tell how the makeup of the Senate will change, I have a feeling that some Senators may find themselves out of a job.