In our modern world, we are told that marriage is supposed to start with “happily ever after”. A couple (either gay or straight) is living with a couple of kids in their own version of the white picket fence. But this image is a modern one. Love and marriage have not always gone hand in hand.
Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, by Stephanie Coontz, was published in 2006. In the book, Coontz details how, for most of human history, getting married was not about love. It was a business and more about who you knew rather than the compatibility and emotional connection of the couple.
In many cases, women (and some men)were sold in the name of marriage to benefit their families or communities. The chosen spouse was not just the business of the individual or their loved ones. Neighbors and distant acquaintances had their say in who one would say “I do” to.
Jane Austen put it best in Mansfield Park:
Since marriage is a “maneuvering business,” both men and women often tried to “market” themselves to potential spouses by showing off certain qualities. Since women and wives in this period were supposed to be obedient, Sir Thomas is basically marketing Fanny as a good potential wife by showing how easy she is to boss around.
Coontz has a way of reaching her readers that is both intellectual and down to earth. She presents the subject in a way that teaches without relying on dry facts and figures. It makes me appreciate that as a female, I can choose who my legally wedded partner is and that I am no longer seen as his property.
Do I recommend it? Yes.
Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage is available wherever books are sold.
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